New moon and coming dawn
by majka0007
Summary: This is the story, as it would go if the Cullens had never returned to Forks. My story continues in the middle of the 16th chapter of the 2nd part of this saga. It respects everything what has done in books and tries to keep the style of books. I always loved Jacob and I decided he deserve better fate. Please forgive me for any mistakes, I'm not native english speaker, I do my best
1. Chapter 1

**16\. PARIS**

My story interrupts Chapter 16 and continues on its own way. I kept all the facts that until that time had been mentioned in books by Stephanie Mayer.

Please forgive me for any mistakes, I'm not native english speaker. I do my best.

I add some original text. Bold is the original, normal is already mine.

Enjoy.

 **My breathing grew slightly and scratched it in my throat.**

 **Would Edward not want, even if he is indifferent to me, to be me as happiest as possible in the circumstances? Was there not at least so much warmth in him as not to let me do this? I think yes. He would not be annoy with me: I would give my friend Jacob a little bit of the love he did not want. After all, it was not the same love...**

 **Jake pressed my hot cheeks on my hair.**

 **If I turned my head on my side, if I pressed my lips on his naked shoulder... I knew with complete certainty what would follow. It would be very easy. Tonight, nothing would have to be explained.**

 **But can I do that? Can I betray my absent heart to rescue my pathetic existence?**

 **When I imagined turning my head, I was caught by the nervousness of the stomach.**

 **And as if I were in danger, I could hear Edward's velvet voice clearly whispering in my ear.**

 **"Be happy," he told me.**

 **I froze.**

 **Jacob noticed I froze, so he let me automatically and reached for my door.**

 ** _Wait,_** **I wanted to tell him.** ** _Just a moment._** **But I was motionless and listening to Edward's echo in my head.**

 **The wind was blowing into the cabin, cold from the storm.** Jacob came out of the car and get around him to my door. He opened it and patiently waited for me to memorize what I just heard. I had a terrible idea that what I heard was a good bye. I could not believe it, I did not want to believe it! How can I still live without that voice, soft and velvet. It was too painful to think about it.

"Bella?" Jacob interrupted my thoughts.

I sigh and get out of my car. Jacob grabbed my hand and led me in my house. I stopped hesitantly in the living room and I looked at him.

"I can not stay here, even if I want to. I have to join others and find Victoria. You should rest, change dress, maybe give a hot shower... I'll come as soon as possible. Maybe with a little luck we´ll end it soon.

 **I felt his hands around my shoulders, I leaned against his chest, and I snivel.** "That´s sucks! I can´t bear any idea that something would happen to you, that she would hurt you, or that she would hurt one of you because of me..." I hesitated. "I hate the idea you´re leave me... that I'm gonna be alone..."

"Bella, honey, do not be afraid," he said, and he stroked my head, comfortingly, "You must believe me, finally, we well be allright. I we'll be here in the morning. Hold on tonight." He said, hugging me harder. "I have to leave. We have to catch her."

 **When he said that, I pulled away from him, but he only hug me harder and did not let me escape. "It makes no sense to shut your eyes to the truth. That's just it, Bells."**

 **"But I do not like what it is," I said with a sigh.**

 **Jacob released one hand to catch my chin and raise my head. "Yes, it was easier when we were both just people, were not we?"**

 **I sighed.** I remembered the time spent with my old Jacob. The hours in his garage, the efferot to motorcycles, learning together in our home, even the miserable trip to the cinema... That evening everything went wrong.

 **We've been looking at each other for a while. His hand was really hot on my skin. I knew I was looking sorrow and lonely - I did not want to say goodbye to him for any short time. At first, he was the same, but when neither of us looked away, his expression changed.**

 **He picked up his other hand; his fingers crossed my cheek and stroked my jawbone. I felt his fingers shaking, but not from anger anymore. He pressed his hand on my cheek so I had my head trapped between his hot palms.**

 **"Bella," he whispered.**

 **I froze...**

 **No... I have not decided yet... I did not know if I could do it, and suddenly I did not have time to think. But what a fool would you think if I refuse him now, it will have not any consequences.**

 **I looked into his eyes. It was not my Jacob, but it could have been. I recognized his face and I liked her. In so many real respects I loved him. It was my consolation, my safe harbor. At this moment I could choose to he belong to me.**

 **It may be as simple as holding hands or hugging. Maybe it will be nice. Maybe it will not taste like betrayal. Whom would I actually betrayed? Only myself.**

 **Jacob kept looking in my eyes and started to lean toward me. And I still have not decided yet.**

 **In this moment the phone rang out loud as we both jumped.** Jacob straightened, sighed and picked up the phone.

"Swan residence," said Jacob. "Yes, Charlie, I just got her... All right, I'll tell her." He hung up the earphone and turned back to me. He stared at me. Maybe he was thinking what to do next, or to continue where he stopped. Finally he said, "Charlie was calling, he wanted to know if you´re home. He's been leaving Sue now and he´s coming here."

Another dose of pain came through me. Poor Charlie. This had to be extremely painful for him. Harry was his friend, spending a lot of time together with Billy. I know well what it is if someone close dies. I know how it is what Charlie is going through. Although what I experience is much, much worse.

With sigh, Jacob kissed me on my forehead and went to the door. "Sleep well, Bella," he whispered, and he was gone.

"You too..." I whispered in the void.

I could not just sit idly. My mind wanted to go back to what she had heard before, and it was too painful. I knew I was not going to avoid it, but at least I can´t face it right now. I went to the kitchen. I was wondering how long the universe would allow me to escape before myself. I opened the fridge and picked meals from yesterday. I took on the plate for Charlie and put it in the microwave. While the food was being heated, I was thinking about how to soothe Charlie. There was nothing what it could work.

In that I kinoticed the car on the driveway. I ran outside and threw myself around his waist.

"I'm very sorry, dad."

Charlie hug me with surprised, probably not even noticing that I ran out of the house. "Thank you, Bells, me too. I will miss Harry very much. "

I did not know what to say, so we just stood there. "When will the funeral?" I finally asked.

"On Sunday afternoon," he said, and led me in.

I ran to the microwave and took the ragout plate to the table. "I heated it up for the dinner," I said.

Charlie thanked me and sat down to the plate. He looked sad, pained, ruined. I was very sorry for him. I would have helped him somehow, relieved him, but I knew well that hes should have to go trought it himself. I did not think he was going to eat.

I went upstairs and sat down on the bed. I shaked a little, but I left the window open. If Victoria comes for me today, it will be as if I were expecting her with open arms. Maybe it'll be fast, maybe she'll take just me, maybe I will be enaught to her.

I interrupted these thoughts and decided to give myself a hot shower. Jake was right. I needed it.

I waited until my muscles overwhelmed but somehow it did not help... Thinking of the pictures of today... Cliffs, sea below me, that face... perfect and so alive... it was today really the last time I was see him? Last time I heard him? I waited when the edges of the hole begin to burn. They did not deceive me, but I expected the intensity of the pain higher. Will I healed sometimes? I did not dare to even hope.

I was afraid if was Jacob alright. He could not soothe me, even if he told me several times that nothing could happen to them. I despied the nightmare what is coming today. The day when you almost die and when you see your love for the last time will definitely want to demand your tax. I wrapped myself in the towel and, without thinking about it, I chose from the mirror cabinet the medications I once used, once, so long ago. I need at least one nightless night, I really need it. I swallowed them and realized I was really tired. I was almost asleep as I wrapped myself into the blankets.

I really had a nightless night. My brain has awake. My eyes were still closed and I thanked, not knowing who, I could have so relaxed. Suddenly I jumped. "Jacob!" I exclaim when I realized where Jacob was, and what he did while I was sleeping so confidently! I sat upright on my bed, my throat did not forget the previous day, and it burned me terribly.

"Yes?" I heard hoarse voice from behind the bed, and I got scared to jump. I turned around and Jacob sat by the bed and looked like he slept just a while ago.

"Jacob! What are you doing here?" I asked, "and what about Charlie?"

"Bella, relax," he said, rubbing his eyes tired and getting up from the ground. "I met him as he left the house and went to Sue to help with things around the funeral. He was glad he saw me and so you were going to have a company. I was waiting in your pickupe to you woke up, when I noticed that you had opened window, and I..." he looked suddenly into the ground." Bella, I was freaked out, I was act without thinking, I smashed into your room to make sure..." he looked at me, "I found you like you're sleeping, you looked sleeping hard, so I sat down here to calm down. I was asleep too, probably. This night was too long."

"Has something happened? Did you catch her? "I asked.

"No, but maybe we already know what pattern she is using. Sam have a plan to verify it." He came to me and he hugged me, I was so glad he was fine! "I was awfully tired, I wanted to go home to sleep well after some time, but I promised you that I would come as soon as possible. I didn´t want breake another promise." he said, and let me.

"Can you lie down here on our couch?" I asked, trying not to think about the another day of solitude.

Jake hesitated. "I suppose I could..." he said slowly, studying my expression.

We went downstairs and I gave him blanket and pillow on the couch. Jacob just grinned at the blanket. "I will not need it," he smiled, I think I should have known it. „It´s a wolf think, you remember?" I smiled too.

He stretched for the couch, but his legs overhangs. He shrugged, crossed his hands over his chest, and almost instantly felt aspleep.

His face was smoothed while he was sleeping, his forehead relaxed, his mouth was no longer so strict. Again I saw my old, carefree friend. I loved this view. Just the dark circles under the eyes made it a little spoiled.

What he was just tired of. I could see it on his face. But why? For whom? Because of me. We played with fate, I felt it. But I could not do anything to save them. I could not go anywhere to make sure that everyone I care about will be safe. I knew while Victoria will be still there, we can not live a peaceful life.

Peaceful ... Hmmm ... . so peaceful as far as possible. I almost imagined that sense of freedom if Victoria's threat was not over us. How could we be with Jake together without daily going to the guard. How could we do something together, or even how I could try to make him happier.

I remembered yesterday when he almost kissed me until the phone interrupted. It gave me a day, maybe two more. But did not I decide already? Did not I decide for _my_ friend?

Yes, now he looked so peaceful. I was let him sleep and went to the kitchen to prepare something for lunch. I felt better when I knew he was so close.


	2. Chapter 2

**17\. BOND**

Sunday was long, sad and exhausting day. There were a lot of people at Harry Clearwright's funeral. I felt like an stranger there, as if I did not belong there. Because I actually did not really belong there. I shouldn´t belong there. My destiny should have take another direction, but it laughed into my face.

The worst look was on Sue. She looked horrible, broken, her face was grey shades, her look was blank, she had shadows under her eyes, but she didn´t cry... Maybe she couldn´t cry anymore. She was as distant, thinking somewhere else. Like any part of her died... Did I look like Sue? How did Charlie feel when he saw me in such a mood of months? Poor Charlie, how many strengths and pains had to cost him ...?

Leah and Seth were at her side, and they were also crushed. Both of them wept and Leah held her mother's hand. I could not look at them anymore. I had to run away, otherwise the atmosphere of pain would return me months back...

The days went more or less in the same way, just as they had just been packed into the heavy mist of mourning. Jacob used to go after school and in the night at the patrol, and he did not have much time for me. I had to return to school on Monday. That was, I think, well, again, it will be my time to fill up something other than endless waiting... for what? Death? But whom? I could not think of it.

Whatever Jacob thought, he did not return to the evening. When we saw each other down in La Push or here at my home, they just told me how they worked, how far they drove Victoria, what changes in her behavior they had found out, and what it might mean. Almost every time I saw him, he was terribly tired. I could not wondering. He was one of the guards of the tribe, but he had to look like a normal teenager going to school.

In one afternoon when I was waiting for him in his garage, sitting in the back seat of his Rabbit, with my legs under my chin restrained by my arms, and trying hard not to think of Edward, Viktoria, or the decision that was sooner or later awaited, Jacob arrived sooner, than I was expected. Of course I did not hear him coming. He sat beside me and stared at me. He already knew what was happening, he knew what I was thinking. Well, what I tried not to think about it.

"Oh, Bella," he sighed, "what should I do to help you, how can I help you get a recommendation again?" He asked, and in his voice I began to feel despair and hysteria. No, I did not want this, I did not want to him another pain. In the end, there was nothing he could do for me. But his presence helped me, really. It was enough for me to be with me. It was enough that he smiled at me, that he held my hand, that he hugged me, that he was talking to me. I felt better with him, I felt safe.

I quickly released my legs, straightened up, and smiled faintly.

"I'm fine," I told him, leaning on his shoulder and grabbing his hand. I had to start working on myself if I wanted Jake to be happy. Jake looked at our intertwined hands and smiled. My presence causing joy to Jacob, I saw it on him. How long would it be enough for him? Only my presence?

"How was it today?" I asked him, hoping to take his thoughts in a different direction.

"We did not see her. She did not cross the borders or to anywhere in sight. Who knows, what she's supposed to do." His face was empty, unshaken, he looked at me. „How were you?" I smiled and wondered at the change in my mood since he came. As if nothing evil was real. How little was enough me. Just that he was with me, just that he liked me, only that consciousness was enough for me to be whole at that moment.

"In school Mike again invited me to the cinema. He wants to make up for me as we had to leave sooner. He was quite persistent." I frowned at that memory.

Jacob thought for a moment and asked, "You sent him to the hell, did not she?" He smirked.

"It was not so easy. I had to lie a little. Even though I did not like it very much. I think he will not invite me anymore. "I frowned again, wondering if I should have mentioned it at all, but perhaps Jake would not ask.

"What did you say to him?" Jacob asked, clearly, Jake did notice... I sighed.

"I do not know if it's good to say it to you." I hesitated but when I saw Jacob look at me, I knew I had to say. "Well... I told him that..." I looked at my palms and feared his reactions. "I told him I am dating with somebody." It finally blew out of me.

Jacob just laugh. I did not expect this reaction. I have not really seen him for a long time laughing so much. "And did that work?" He asked, when he calmed himself.

"Yes," I said, wondering what was going on.

"If you thought that before, you could save all that annoying care from Mike." He said with ease, as if he did not mind lying to Mike.

"Wait a minute, and with who are you dating, exactly?" Jacob asked, and he did not let go sight of me. It played a confident smile on his lips.

"He did not ask, but I suppose he thinks I am with you."

There was a smirk on Jacob's face, almost just like at old good times. I was glad Jake was happy. Or at least he do not worry about anything at this moment.

"Well, maybe I should pick you out of school sometimes to make it more trustworthy." He said fervently, and I knew he would play his role perfectly, which was probably because it would by no acting for him. It would be natural...

"Sure," I laughed, "as if you had time for that in your busy program." I added a little fainter.

Jacob noticed this, and he smiled wildly at me. "That's what I wanted to say. We agreed that we would be out of patrolling for at least one full day of the week because Embry had some problems at school. He does not have a lot of time to do the school work, so Sam has judged That it makes us very busy, and that we can do it properly even if we are not all. If there was an alarm, we will find the rest of the pack. I'm off tomorrow. We could do something together, what do you think?" He asked me with the spark in my eyes and it was so easy to me, I will have him for the whole afternoon, which was a warm idea, despite the cold wind blowing out. „At least I can keep my eyes on you all that time and you also look like the word „entertainment" had no meaning to you, anymore." He laughed at his own joke. His positive, elated mood was too contagious. I smiled and nodded.

"What would you like to do?" He asked me.

"If you'll with me, I do not care." I said, and again I leaned on his shoulder with lightness on my soul.

Jacob embraced me and gently kissed me at the top of my head. "That's great, I've come up with something. But that's a surprise," he added when I pulled away and looked at him.

"Motorbikes?" I asked him and blocked the last memories...

"You will see," he said, his expression faintly on the face, should I be afraid? But I was just too pleased that he is finally smiling.

"Kids," we heard a voice from outside, Charlie came in. "Are you here?" He asked, and I automatically jumped out of Rabbit. Jacob joined me.

"I'm coming," I cried and turned was at the switch and turned off the light again. It was dark everywhere so I waited automatically and almost instantly felt Jacob grabbing my hand and leading out into another darkness. His hand was pleasant Warm and soft in compared to _the other hand,_ cool and hard as a stone. I did not think about it, it did not belong to me anymore.

We went out of the garage and saw Charlie standing on the porch of Billy's house an holding three pizzas. I frozed. Today I had to cook, I completely forgot about it. Charlie probably noticed what I had just thought of, and he smiled. "I wanted to save you work tonight," he said, and he walked in. Charlie obviously doesn´t care about it, I tried to suppress my own remorse and let be pulled inside by Jacob. We sat at the table but it was not like it once. It was like someone is missing here.

The day at school passed quickly, with the idea that today I would not be sitting alone at home and drowning in my own thoughts. I will spend this afternoon with my own sun, which will fill me with warmth, light and peace. I was glad he would not be on the patrol, at least I will know he is safe. But I was a little afraid that Victoria could find us _together._ Would Jacob really handily manage the situation with her as he tried to tell me? He told me he was made up for it. To kill vampires. But would he do it alone, too? I was shocked by that idea.

"Bella, is not you cold?" Angela asked, looking at the sweater that I had over the chair. No one at the table in the dining room noticed us, just only Mike looked at me for a second but then turned quickly and went on an chat with Eric.

"No, I'm fine," I smiled at her. I liked her, she was so gentle, so honest, nice and quiet. She was good, but she was too attentive.

"What are you going to do after school today?" She asked when she saw that she was not going to get from me information, why I was shaked. Mike looked at me again, but after about three seconds he turned back to Eric, but when he did not say nothing, it seemed like he listen to us.

"Well, actually, I have a date today," I said, wondering how unnatural it sounded out loud, and it was all more odd that I knew it was almost true, not quite in the right mean of word - how could it be - but I will try very hard to make it look like a nice time spent together with Jake.

Mike threw at me such a strange look, a mixture of surprise, anger, disappointment, and betrayal. I did not want him to feel that way, but if he waited for me, it would be even worse. I knew it would not happen. Never. He stood up and went away. _I'm sorry, Mike, you'll have to move on, once and for all, I'm really sorry,_ I thought.

Angela looked at the outgoing Mike, a little confused, but then she turned back to me and exclaimed, "That's great, Bella! That's great!" Ok, now the rest of the table looked at us. I was trying to ignore it. And I was trying don´t think about how Mike feels now, but I never gave him any hope.

I expected Angela will ask me who I was dating, but Angela was just... Angela. Discreet.

"Thank you," I smiled at her gratefully.

I really have a date today. It was also strange. It's seems absurd in the mess stuff happenings surround me.

After the last hour, I wondered if I should go to Jake, or he would come for me. I decided to go home and call him. I guess it will not take long and I will be back in his warm presence.

I went out to the parking lot, and when I lifted my head to go to the car, I saw Jake lean over my Pickup and smile. So it did not take neither as long as I expected. Jake was here, waiting for me as every friend does.

He carelessly straightened up, and walked toward me. I supposed he meant it seriously that he wanted to add some credibility to my storytelling about dating. Should I allow it to him? But could I avoid it? I knew Jacob's determination too well. And did I want to prevent it at all? I tried not to think about how Edward used to waiting for me in the morning. I tried not to think that I would never see him near my car again. This boy (as great he was it was ridiculous to me calling him a „boy") he was now my future, if I want to. If I will decide for him.

Looking at his self-confident face, I had to smile. He walked over to me across the parking lot and gently took me into his arms, pulling me out into the air and hugging me hard. He stared me in the eyes, then put me down and grabbed my hand.

"Ready?" He asked me.

"Depending on what." I said indefinitely and thinking what he devise for me today?

"You can drive if you want," he offered me, when Mike passed us in his car. I was trying to get away with all thoughts.

"Where should I go?" I asked as I opened the driver's door.

"To your house," he said, and it seems, he is in very good mood.

"Is that a surprise? Are we going to study? "I asked, and I was surprised to find myself relieved. S perhaps today is not that day when I have to decide.

"I admit that it would not hurt me, but no, that's not what I prepared for today's afternoon for us," he smiled and got into car. I was looking where he stood a while ago for a few seconds, and finally I got in too.

Jacob sat facing me and looks the mysterious.

"So what?" I asked impatiently, what making him more amused, and he smiled even wider and shook his head.

I sighed and set off toward our home. It was not worth trying to get out of Jacob where we plan to go today, so I just looked in front of myself and wondering what's going on. I just hoped no romance. I would not have done that. I felt more confident when he was in a joyous mood, like when he was thinking and quiet.

When we arrived at our house, Jake´s Rabbit was parked there. "Are we on the way or are we staying here?" I asked.

"We continue, of course. I said I've planed something for us." he said and stepped out of the car. I went to house for a second, just to leave my school bag in the house, and to left Charlie on the kitchen table a message that I was with Jacob and I will return in the evening. Then I got back into the car, where Jacob was holding the door, and as I pass by him to the car, I felt some distress from the unknown.


End file.
